Self-Denial and The Cross of Christ Sunday, June 10, 2007 at 9:56 pm
On the matter of self-denial I cannot claim to have done any special thinking. Though I have given it much thought and consideration, I very much doubt I have done moreso than any other religious individual. Nevertheless, the words of self-denial immediately conjure up a notion of special religiosity – of a particularly great holiness. But I do not know that this is so. Allow me to quote Lewis, a man who has risen to almost deuterocanonical levels in Protestantism, but who on the matters of motivation, and most particularly in his understanding of heaven and hell, is seldom surpassed among Christian philosophers. From The Weight of Glory:
If you asked twenty good men to-day what they thought the highest of the virtues, nineteen of them would reply, Unselfishness. But if you asked almost any of the great Christians of old he would have replied, Love. You see what has happened? A negative term has been substituted for a positive, and this is of more than philological importance. The negative ideal of Unselfishness carries with it the suggestion not primarily of securing good things for others, but of going without them ourselves, as if our abstinence and not their happiness was the important point. I do not think this is the Christian virtue of Love. The New Testament has lots to say about self-denial, but not about self-denial as an end in itself. We are told to deny ourselves and to take up our crosses in order that we may follow Christ; and nearly every description of what we shall ultimately find if we do so contains an appeal to desire.
My distrust of self-denial as self-denial is that it has no inherent benefit for the self or for others.
Consider how God speaks to Israel in Isaiah 58:3-6:
‘Why have we fasted,’ they say,
‘and you have not seen it?
Why have we humbled ourselves,
and you have not noticed?’
“Yet on the day of your fasting, you do as you please
and exploit all your workers.Your fasting ends in quarreling and strife,
and in striking each other with wicked fists.
You cannot fast as you do today
and expect your voice to be heard on high.Is this the kind of fast I have chosen,
only a day for a man to humble himself?
Is it only for bowing one’s head like a reed
and for lying on sackcloth and ashes?
Is that what you call a fast,
a day acceptable to the LORD ?“Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen:
to loose the chains of injustice
and untie the cords of the yoke,
to set the oppressed free
and break every yoke?
Pay attention to the whole thing, but look at that last verse: the focus of fasting is not ourselves, but it is actually about our neighbors, particularly the poor. As he says, ‘this is the kind of fasting chosen for us.’ And while I haven’t done this yet, I would really like to find a place here to get plugged into that is involved with social justice – maybe once every other week or something go without dinner or lunch (on a weekend) and serve someone else lunch. It is just the idea of going without not merely for the sake of going without, but so that someone else can have.
So do not merely deny yourself in order to increase your spirituality. And do not give up your time in order to increase your spirituality through prayer; pray for your sisters and brothers, and give up your time to be with them and be a blessing to someone. What good is it for you or I to starve ourselves if we are not feeding our neighbor? And what good is it if we can claim a spirituality before God that does not spill over into the lives of our neighbors? Even Christ did not take such an approach. He may have withdrawn for prayer, but immediately went out to address the needs of the people: and not just their spiritual needs, but to feed them and to heal nine lepers who never came back to discipleship with him.
Even the self-denial of the cross was not self-denial as self-denial, but it had a purpose: namely, you and I. If the cross were only a form of religious ascetism then it means nothing to us, for he would be just another religious man attaining his own religious significance. But the beauty of Christ’s sacrifice lies in what he did it for: to impart his significance to that which is insignificant, to call ‘beloved’ that which is by nature unlovable, to accomplish that which the Christians of old called redemption. He was motivated out of an incomprehensible love, and from this stemmed the necessity of his self-denial – for our benefit. And so when we as followers of Christ speak of self-denial, it must always be in the light of the cross: not a duty we perform to prove our religious devotion, but an outpouring of the same radical and God-exalting love by which we have been loved and through which we were adopted as his daughters and sons. Self-denial then must be subservient to as well as overshadowed by the motivation of love. What are your reasons, and what are mine, for denial?
“My distrust of self-denial as self-denial is that it has no inherent benefit for the self or for others.”
I have to say that I disagree with this statement. I actually think it can.
In terms of homosexuality, I deny myself that for my own benefit as well as for that of others. I do this because I feel horrible about myself whenever I act out on my feelings. I find myself depressed. I begin thinking about what a girl I am, and how… well I won’t get into all that, but I feel really bad whenever I act out. So, when I deny myself, I feel better. And I treat other guys better. When I act out, I have a tendancy to think harshly about straight guys who don’t have to go through some of the things I do. I get easily frustrated with them. When I deny myself, I find that I treat them a whole lot better. I stop pushing them away. That tends to be what I do whenever I think of another guy in a sexual manner. I tend to freak myself out and go into panick mode. When I keep from that, I actually manage to make friends with them. But with all that aside, I do deny myself what I want in this regard, for the most part, because I do not believe it’s what God wants for me. And I don’t want to hurt God by disobeying Him and rebelling against what He would have for me. All that’s why I deny myself in this regard.
I agree with you 100% about fasting and some of the other things you talked about. We should do more for others, and we should deny ourselves for the sake of others. There needs to be a genuine reason to deny oneself. I believe personal conviction alone can be a cause, however. That is how it is for me and a great deal of other people. There’s just that gut feeling, which tells us to not give in to certain things.
Great post, David. Hope you’re enjoying the new location, by the way?
God bless.
But Brandon, you have just made my point: your denial of your sexuality you say is for others’ benefit as much as your own. It is when I hear that one ought to just deny oneself because That Is The Righteous Thing To Do – that is, denial for the sake of denial – that I become uneasy. How does that benefit anyone? I don’t think we should be focused on self-denial at all because we shouldn’t be focused on self. It will come in the natural course of things – in following Christ before us, all else (yes even our gut instincts) beside, no longer hindrances to a greater goal.
I understand your emotions, and to be honest it saddens me. It is entirely possible (indeed, so many practice it!) to be at peace with one’s orientation and not begrudge our straight brothers and sisters. I am side A and believe “acting out” is an expression to be reserved for covenantial fidelity (marriage). I have many close straight guy friends – it is more an issue of sexualizing a person than of beliefs on ‘gay issues’. I want to bring your attention to this:
‘I find myself depressed. I begin thinking about what a girl I am’
Do you realize how incredibly offensive that might be to a woman? It interests me how many people’s problems with homosexuality stem from a particular view of women: namely, that for a man to be in any way associated with a woman is degrading (because, of course, women are lower in some manner than men). I’m not calling you a misogynist – I don’t believe you are – but I did want to point that out. I hope I misread.
But I know you are seeking God, and you want his best and your best, and the best of those around you. And I hope and trust that you continue to pursue him.
Peace, brother.
Excellent meditation.
I agree, David, that is extremely important to focus on being a blessing rather than trying to just be ‘better’ – even holiness goals work better when you focus on loving and wanting to please Jesus ever more instead of ’self-improvement.’
Seems like anytime our focus gets on ourselves we go wrong, even when have the best intentions in the world.
Susan
Hey David,
I actually agree with most of what you had to respond with.
I didn’t mean to imply anything negative about women though. All I meant was that at times I can feel sort of like a freak or something because I enjoy and do things, and are drawn to things, which men (in my opinion) aren’t meant to be drawn to or engage in. When I “act out” (in whatever form that may be) I don’t feel very manly at all. I feel like I’m going against my very nature, in the fact that I am a male and yet doing things not very manly (to my mind). There’s just a conflict there for me. That’s all I was meaning. I don’t have anything at all against women though. And if by any chance I did offend anyone by what I said before, I apologize. I didn’t mean to imply anything negative towards women at all. Just that I can start feeling and thinking rather womanly, and yet I know I’m not a woman, I’m a man, and there are some differences there. See what I mean?
I’m glad you’re discussing this subject, David.
God bless.
“My distrust of self-denial as self-denial is that it has no inherent benefit for the self or for others.”
Unlike Brandon, I agree with your statement, and you would call me Side B ! We should NOT deny ourselves out of a sense of duty, but instead out of love, and out of a desire for pleasure far greater – God Himself!
When I obey God’s commands (including His prohibition of homosexual activity), I seek to demonstrate that He is better than sex and that I can trust His promise of eternal complete joy with Him more than sex’s promise of pleasure.
Okay guys, just so we’re on the same page here now, I actually do agree with you David. I just didn’t fully understand what you were getting at at first. To deny yourself just for the sake of denying yourself and nothing more, well, that is sort of stupid. What would be the point? Surely one would have to have some sort of a reason or just cause for that to make any sense. I deny myself usually to please God, and because I feel better about myself when I do. For other’s, I’m sure they deny themselves for either similar reasons or for others. Whatever the reason, it is a personal one for most, and really it shouldn’t matter to anyone else, so long as the individual is doing what they feel is in their best interest. Just wanted to clear that up.
Brandon,
I say the following gently, knowing that this is NOT an argument and my own motives are far from perfect.
You said, “Whatever the reason, it is a personal one for most, and really it shouldn’t matter to anyone else, so long as the individual is doing what they feel is in their best interest.”
Um, your motives for self-sacrifice SHOULD matter to others. God is glorified when we suffer for the right motives and others can see those motives. John Piper says it better than I can:
God himself shines as the brightness at the end of our tunnel of pain. If we do not communicate that he is the goal and the ground of our joy in suffering, then the very meaning of our suffering will be lost. The meaning is this: God is gain. God is gain. God is gain.
YES!
MR, I have no desire to argue with you, and that’s not at all my intent–only to discuss. Just because I have a different point of view doesn’t mean I’m arguing with you. I’m only telling my side of things. Sorry if that offends you or something.
You mentioned, “God is glorified when we suffer for the right motives and others can see those motives.” Do you not believe that God is glorified when in our suffering we simply turn to him? I get the impression that you and others seem to think that God is only pleased when we do for others. I think he is pleased by that, but I also think it pleases him when we do for ourselves.
Here’s an example: A man is trapped on a deserted island. In his loneliness and boredom he begins cutting himself just to retain some sort of feeling to ease his pain. Granted, this is a morbid scenario, but let’s go with it for a moment. Is it right for him to be hurting himself? I don’t believe so. So, if he gives up hurting himself for his own sake, and instead turns to God to satisfy that loneliness (no one else involved) don’t you believe God is glorified by that?
Personally, I believe ones motives for self-sacrifice can be between the individual and God alone. No one else has to be involved. In my case, I do believe my sacrifices are good for others as well as for myself. But, I believe a person can do something good simply between themselves and God. There doesn’t HAVE to be others involved for your motives to be right. Doing for God’s sake alone, to obey God alone, I believe, IS a good motive in and of itself.
Brandon,
I was not offended by you, I just wanted to re-affirm that this is no argument.
Yes, there are some things just between you and God, and He is glorified in your motive being love for Him. What I meant was that when others see our joy while suffering, we should let them know that God is so worth suffering for! Also, He is the one who helps us through it.
MR, I’ll say an “Amen!” to that. God bless ya!
Hi, David!
Yes, I do sometimes read this.
Unlike Valerie Plame, I don’t work for the CIA, so you will not get investigated by the Special Prosecutor if you reveal my last name.
And hiking was fun.
– Ron